Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize