he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
