Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
