Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
