His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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