No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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