haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
