did you get engaged???
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The ass gains better be worth it
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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