I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
