Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
