Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
