this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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