Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
