Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
