hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Couch. On fire.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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