So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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