He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
