just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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