how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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