What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
is it fun? or sober?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
