If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
