Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
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