I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
