i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
