What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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