I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
