Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize