The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
