a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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