Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
