i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
