I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
