well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
