im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
