Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
