I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
