too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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