Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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