Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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