let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
