Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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