just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
