You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
