Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We just shotgunned beers for America
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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