i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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