i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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