and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
