I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
