Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
