"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
