Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish you could order shots online.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
