But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
