I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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