i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
