i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
