I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize