You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
