It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
