16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
