Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
