At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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