12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
